A great thing happened over the weekend - my oldest daughter, Emma, who is five, just learned how to ride her bicycle without the use of training wheels.
For what seemed to be the longest time, she would only ride her bike with the training wheels attached. On Saturday, she decided she was ready.
We started off with me holding her seat and running behind her steadying her as she peddled. As you can imagine, that got tiring pretty quickly.
She wasn’t getting it, but was determined to ride the bike on her own. So we determined that her biggest obstacle was her balance - she had no sense of balance on the bike. I did a short exercise with her on her bike to help establish a sense of balance. This worked great. We started off and before I knew it, Emma was peddling away on her own.
This was a great moment of pride for me - something I’ll always remember - a real “daddy/daughter” moment.
I tell you this story because I think there is a great wisdom that we can all learn from my five year old. Before this weekend, any time we had urged Emma to attempt to ride her bike without training wheels, she’d find a way to get out of trying. Or if we did try - it didn’t go so well.
Yet, when we didn’t bug her to try and she determined she was ready - we experienced a great success.
See, you can’t force someone to try something new. If you get them to do what you want them to do - it will be half-hearted at best.
I had always heard that the biggest challenge that any entrepreneur and/or sales person has is getting someone to volunteer to change. That is so true.
When someone is ready to ride a bike, buy a product, or use a service, they are ready. That’s when they will give it their all, go all-out, etc. Forcing the issue before someone is ready is a recipe for disaster and a lot of wasted emotion and energy.
Does that mean you shouldn’t attempt to bring change to the status quo - not at all. Just realize that you probably won’t get many volunteers the first several times you try. But also realize that once someone gets on board with what you want to change - look out - the possibilities are endless.
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Tuesday, December 30, 2008
Tuesday, December 16, 2008
Saying "No"
This past week I got really good at saying “No.” I said no to many requests of my time, my money and my energy. We say no for many different reasons. Why is saying no important and why should we say no?
Saying no is important because if we all said yes, we’d be in big trouble. This isn’t about attempting to knock you down with negativity - on the contrary - saying no can be quite positive. There is only one of you and only 24 hours in a day. You can’t possibly do everything, let along everything you’d like to do in a day. It’s just not possible.
Saying no is a form of decision making. Saying no is about being decisive. Saying no is about knowing where you are heading.
By saying no, we save time, money and energy from actions and commitments that would otherwise distract us or drain us or otherwise send heading in a million different directions.
Many times people have difficulty telling someone else no. We fear offending someone or fear the “set in stone” nature of the term - it’s very conclusive.
Telling someone no is actually showing them a sign of respect in many cases. If some asks you to do something for them and you really don’t have the time to do it - which is better, saying yes and doing a terrible job (or worse, not completing the task) or saying no with an explanation? I’ll bet that the other person would rather hear you tell them no up front. Saying no in this circumstance saves everyone time and frustration.
When are the appropriate times to say no in your business and life? What will you save by saying no? Will these times help you to know when to say yes?
- Like what you are reading? Want more? Be sure to sign up for my free weekly newsletter - Passport for Success. It is delivered to your e-mail box every Monday morning. Sign-up at Passportforsuccess.org.
Saying no is important because if we all said yes, we’d be in big trouble. This isn’t about attempting to knock you down with negativity - on the contrary - saying no can be quite positive. There is only one of you and only 24 hours in a day. You can’t possibly do everything, let along everything you’d like to do in a day. It’s just not possible.
Saying no is a form of decision making. Saying no is about being decisive. Saying no is about knowing where you are heading.
By saying no, we save time, money and energy from actions and commitments that would otherwise distract us or drain us or otherwise send heading in a million different directions.
Many times people have difficulty telling someone else no. We fear offending someone or fear the “set in stone” nature of the term - it’s very conclusive.
Telling someone no is actually showing them a sign of respect in many cases. If some asks you to do something for them and you really don’t have the time to do it - which is better, saying yes and doing a terrible job (or worse, not completing the task) or saying no with an explanation? I’ll bet that the other person would rather hear you tell them no up front. Saying no in this circumstance saves everyone time and frustration.
When are the appropriate times to say no in your business and life? What will you save by saying no? Will these times help you to know when to say yes?
- Like what you are reading? Want more? Be sure to sign up for my free weekly newsletter - Passport for Success. It is delivered to your e-mail box every Monday morning. Sign-up at Passportforsuccess.org.
Wednesday, December 10, 2008
Criticism
How often do you receive criticism for something you have done or said? How does it make you feel? How do you respond? What should you respond to?
From my experience, there are two types of criticism - criticism you ignore and criticism that you respond to.
What is criticism you ignore - typically it’s from people you don’t know. Maybe someone out of the blue saw something you wrote and felt the need to make themselves known and give their opinion, unsolicited, about your ideas. You don’t know them, they aren’t on your mailing list, and their criticism is just a rant. My best advice of how to handle it is to either ignore it completely or send a quick response thanking them for their opinion. By quick, I mean one or two lines of text. Don’t waste your time with these people - responding with anything more will only encourage someone like this and you may end up spending time and energy on a relationship that is going no where.
What is criticism you should respond to - when a client has a criticism, especially a client you care about, you have an obligation to respond. People you have some sort of relationship with are worth the effort and deserve a response. Generally, these people are letting you know that they care about what you are saying or doing. They may disagree or they may not understand. Either way, they are looking to engage in conversation, not just ranting. They understand that criticism can be helpful and turn into a win-win situation. You don’t have to agree with someone, but you do have an obligation to listen to them and to let them know that you’ve heard them. Even if you don’t go with what they want, explain your decision to this person, because they will be glad you listened to them.
- Like what you are reading? Want more? Be sure to sign up for my free weekly newsletter - Passport for Success. It is delivered to your e-mail box every Monday morning. Sign-up at Passportforsuccess.org.
From my experience, there are two types of criticism - criticism you ignore and criticism that you respond to.
What is criticism you ignore - typically it’s from people you don’t know. Maybe someone out of the blue saw something you wrote and felt the need to make themselves known and give their opinion, unsolicited, about your ideas. You don’t know them, they aren’t on your mailing list, and their criticism is just a rant. My best advice of how to handle it is to either ignore it completely or send a quick response thanking them for their opinion. By quick, I mean one or two lines of text. Don’t waste your time with these people - responding with anything more will only encourage someone like this and you may end up spending time and energy on a relationship that is going no where.
What is criticism you should respond to - when a client has a criticism, especially a client you care about, you have an obligation to respond. People you have some sort of relationship with are worth the effort and deserve a response. Generally, these people are letting you know that they care about what you are saying or doing. They may disagree or they may not understand. Either way, they are looking to engage in conversation, not just ranting. They understand that criticism can be helpful and turn into a win-win situation. You don’t have to agree with someone, but you do have an obligation to listen to them and to let them know that you’ve heard them. Even if you don’t go with what they want, explain your decision to this person, because they will be glad you listened to them.
- Like what you are reading? Want more? Be sure to sign up for my free weekly newsletter - Passport for Success. It is delivered to your e-mail box every Monday morning. Sign-up at Passportforsuccess.org.
Tuesday, December 2, 2008
31 Days
As you well know, December has 31 days. It's one of the longer months of the year in terms of total number of days on the calendar. But in reality, it's actually one of the shorter months for accomplishing your goals.
First, take all the weekend days out of the mix - that's eight days - you are now down to 23 days. Take out Christmas and the day before and after, along with New Year's Eve - that's four more. Now you are down to 19 days. As far as sales days go for most businesses, the days between Christmas and New Year's are a bust - so there are two of those left. Now we are down to 17 days.
Counting today, you only have 17 working days to accomplish your goals if they have anything to do with other people. Even that may be a bit of a stretch. Good luck attempting to reach someone that you absolutely have to talk with on the 22nd and 23rd. That leaves you 15 days.
You've got 15 days to be productive - slightly less than half the month. What do you need to do to ensure this is a productive month? What do you need to do today? How about right now? Get going!
- Like what you are reading? Want more? Be sure to sign up for my free weekly newsletter - Passport for Success. It is delivered to your e-mail box every Monday morning. Sign-up at Passportforsuccess.org.
First, take all the weekend days out of the mix - that's eight days - you are now down to 23 days. Take out Christmas and the day before and after, along with New Year's Eve - that's four more. Now you are down to 19 days. As far as sales days go for most businesses, the days between Christmas and New Year's are a bust - so there are two of those left. Now we are down to 17 days.
Counting today, you only have 17 working days to accomplish your goals if they have anything to do with other people. Even that may be a bit of a stretch. Good luck attempting to reach someone that you absolutely have to talk with on the 22nd and 23rd. That leaves you 15 days.
You've got 15 days to be productive - slightly less than half the month. What do you need to do to ensure this is a productive month? What do you need to do today? How about right now? Get going!
- Like what you are reading? Want more? Be sure to sign up for my free weekly newsletter - Passport for Success. It is delivered to your e-mail box every Monday morning. Sign-up at Passportforsuccess.org.
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